Children of coercive control/narcissistic abuse often have self-loathing: I am valueless. The pain of that is challenging for any child to manage. Full @tedx_official link found in bio and here: https://youtu.be/gp2qByKOue4?si=U0Csy-kPrRmrB95O 🩵 #coercivecontrol#itsallcoercivecontrol#narcissist | Dr. Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW
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Children who grow up under coercive control are navigating two worlds — one built on fear, and one built on safety. And when they come home dysregulated, explosive, or even aggressive, it’s not because they’re “bad”… it’s because they’re surviving. What you’re seeing is control in the context of no control, just as Dr. Evan Stark describes. Your child is being controlled by the abuser — and simultaneously fearing that if they don’t align, they’ll face the same punishment, rejection, or contempt
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Coercive control isn’t “invisible abuse.” It’s the foundation of all abuse — the slow, intentional erosion of autonomy, safety, and connection. 💔 Many abusers don’t need to use violence — their psychological tactics work just as well. And when children are caught in it, their painful words or behaviors aren’t rebellion — they’re survival. In this video, Dr. Christine Cocchiola — researcher, advocate, and protective parent — shares how narcissistic abuse and coercive control intersect, and why u
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Therapy should help — but when a child is living under coercive control, therapy can sometimes do harm if the clinician doesn’t understand the dynamics at play. Many therapists are excellent. Many are not trained in coercive control. When a therapist unintentionally validates the abuser’s narrative, it increases confusion and injury for the child — and for you. Children need clear teaching about boundaries, agency, and healthy vs. unhealthy relationships. Sometimes that means pausing therapy unt
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